Using Iyengar Yoga for stress relief does not have to be all serious. It can be very funny stuff. Take a look at these free sample chapters from Where Are My Ankles?
Sample Chapter 1: Recovery from Physical Injury A funny story about healing an injury.
Sample Chapter 2: Help with Hormone Imbalances A funny story about reducing the symptoms of PMS.
Entire Table of Contents A list of all the funny stories.
BUY NOW
Recovery from Physical Injury
One day I made a foolish mistake and was accidentally kicked in the head by my horse. I woke up in a hospital bed and threw up on the nearest available nurse. The emergency room physician came in to examine me. He told me that I had a slight concussion, and that I had damaged some of the muscles on my left side. What’s more, he grimly intoned, these muscles would never heal correctly and might even atrophy completely. “Can I go home now?” I said.
I went to my next yoga class and thought I’d better tell Paul what happened. I explained to him that I had a concussion and had damaged the muscles on my left side, which the doctor told me might never heal. “Come here,” said Paul. “I am going to give you something special to do.” Paul demonstrated a yoga pose that stretched exactly those muscles that had been damaged. My eyes got as big as the moon. Are you kidding? I thought. He wants me to stretch muscles that are already damaged? Sensing my doubt, Paul explained, “If you don’t stretch them, how are they going to heal?” Heal? I thought, Paul actually thinks these muscles can heal? Well, anything that might heal what I had been told was permanently damaged was worth a try. Hesitantly stretching as Paul had directed, I found that, contrary to my expectations, the pose did not result in excruciating pain. I repeated this pose everyday for about three months, and lo and behold, the muscles actually did heal—completely.
Almost ten years later, there is no stiffness or residual pain, and I would never know that I had damaged those muscles were it not for my memory of the accident.
Help with Hormone Imbalances
About ten days before my monthly menstrual period I lose contact with part of my brain. That is, the part of my brain that distinguishes between right and left, and deals with spatial relationships in general, decides to leave for a short vacation. “Gone skiing in the mountains,” it says when asked to do something. “Back after the monthly menstrual period begins.”
Strange things happen when part of one’s brain has gone AWOL. I watch helplessly as my favorite glass slips through my fingers and on to the floor while I’m washing the dishes. When I try to play a new message on the telephone answering machine, I inadvertently erase two messages that my husband wanted to save.
“Is it period time?” my husband politely enquires as I bumble through our home.
How does everyone always seem to know when I’m getting close to my period? I grouse to myself.
I can’t find the teapot and decide to order a new one. I look through one of our catalogs, fill out a form, and decide that I need to mail it right away. As I am going out to mail the order, I accidentally bump my left hip against the front door. “Where are you going?” my husband asks. “I’ve ordered a new teapot and I need to mail the order right away,” I explain. “Better get two,” my husband sagely advises, “so you have another one to use when you break the first one.” What on earth is he talking about? I think to myself.
Things get equally messed up in yoga class. “Right leg forward for Head-to-Knee pose,” says Paul. Everyone puts their right leg forward, except me, because I cannot distinguish between right and left. I put my left foot forward and proceed to execute the pose on the wrong side.
Trying to learn an unfamiliar pose at this time of the month is even more challenging. One day Paul decided to teach us Gate Crossbar pose, which I had never done before. In Gate Crossbar pose, one leg is extended straight out in front of you while you are sitting on the floor. The other leg is drawn straight back with the knee bent, so that (ideally) your toes end up somewhere near your ear while you hold the big toe of the bent leg with your thumb and fingers. My Gate Crossbar pose is so off target that the knee of my bent leg, instead of being pulled straight back near my ear, is actually pointing out 90 degrees to the side. I am so completely unaware that I have grossly distorted the pose that Paul has to come over and physically move my bent leg into the correct position.
The other thing that happens during this special time of the month is that I tend to react more dramatically to whatever happens. I am more easily upset and quicker to anger, and have trouble calming down.
I have had these premenstrual symptoms for over 30 years, and have searched desperately for some way to ease them. Physicians trained in Western medicine suggested hormone therapy, which scared me to death. All right, so I had a few problems and was grumpy and generally no fun to be around, but basically everything worked, and I really did not want to start messing around with my body’s biochemistry. I tried some herbs recommended by alternative systems of medicine, but had emotional and physical side effects from the herbs, which I took as a warning not to use them. Practicing a suggested series of yoga poses didn’t work, either. The main thing I wanted was to calm down, but I wasn’t even focused enough during this time to settle down and concentrate on the recommended poses.
I was about to give up, when one day I got a new idea. Several Iyengar Yoga teachers had begun teaching some special breathing exercises, called pranayama, at the end of class. Pranayama could definitely be calming and soothing. Maybe I could try some pranayama to regain composure when part of my brain abandoned me.
However, there were problems with this idea. Paul had told us that if one practiced pranayama, it was important to practice every day. I did not yet have a daily pranayama practice. Where was my pranayama practice? Somewhere off in the future, like interplanetary space travel. Paul had also warned us that doing pranayama incorrectly could be harmful, and at this time of month I was in no state to take any risks.
Eventually, I found a solution. It occurred to me that I did not have to do full pranayama. There was an introductory part just before we started doing the actual breathing exercises where one intensely focuses on the breath, without doing anything to alter it. So I started trying to do all those things Paul told us to do when he was preparing us for pranayama. I concentrated on observing the beginnings and endings of the inhale and exhale. I tried to observe whether my left and right lungs expanded and contracted at the same rate, or if one filled more quickly or more completely than the other. This is even more difficult than it sounds, but it is very absorbing, and before long I got so wrapped up in attending to these observations that I was able to unwrap myself from my high-strung emotions, at least for a little while. When things seemed to be going well, I added a specific type of pranayama, called viloma, which induces a relaxed state. Using pranayama in this manner to relieve symptoms of PMS helped me to approach pranayama more slowly and carefully. Sometimes I actually get cravings to do pranayama! Maybe interplanetary space travel is not that far off after all.
Table of Contents
An Alternative to Addiction
Improved Health: Stress Relief and Weight Loss
Increasing Self-Discipline I: Achieving a Steady, Independent Yoga Practice
Recovery from Physical Injury
Help with Hormone Imbalances
Recovery from Exhaustion
Abundant Energy and Lightness
Reducing Anxiety: Learning to Relax
Overcoming Laziness
Overcoming Fear I: The Importance of Props
Overcoming Fear II: Substituting Constructive Activities for Fear
Overcoming Fear III: Replacing Fear with Generosity
Coping with Anger: Replacing Frustration with Equanimity
Taking Equanimity Beyond Yoga Class
Increasing Self-Discipline II: Maintaining an Effective Yoga Practice
Restoring the Lost Value of Craft
Recovery of Repressed Parts of the Self
Learning to Pray
Reduced Cravings for Unhealthy Food
Recognizing the Importance of Nonviolence
Something Else
The Most Important Gift
Learning How to Be a Full Human Being
Conclusion
Appendix I: Finding an Iyengar Teacher
Appendix II: Medical References Describing the Successful Use of Iyengar Yoga in Treating
Serious Medical Conditions
Appendix III: Suggested Reading
BUY NOW
| 
